Jan 16, 2018
Recorded live on location at Save Our Souls after probably too many beers, Evo goes on a tear about the English alphabet. What predicated this outrage/outburst? Learning the Thai alphabet, obviously.
(Don’t worry about the incorrect number of Thai consonants and vowels Evo says on the show. Did we mention he’d been drinking?)
Linguists probably won’t care much for this episode. But pragmatists, realists, and anyone who isn’t a native English speaker but has learned this goofy language will likely love it.
If you leave us a quick voicemail, Evo won’t have to make something up next week. And if you want these episodes early and gain access to all of our bonus content, support us on Patreon.
Once again and for your comedic enjoyment, we present to you a transcript of our audio by the big computer brain at PodcasterPro. No, it's not very good at interpreting our content. But it is funny!
00:00:00
The trick is not putting it all the way in. When we make I am
not, you're going to respond to that. Paying l o one one draw as
one this. No. What this morning? This one time. Oh my God, Just one
time. The girls. So no question this week. Love. No. What I thought
this, we are rapidly approaching the end of the fourth season of
the show. This is episode out four hundred twenty six Glad though
the or the foil, the 26th episode of the fourth season of this one
time. Um. Um, I thought we can talk about. My hatred of the
American Alphabet <laughter>. And and when did you come to
this realization? They hated the American Alphabet vis has come at
the combination of living in Southeast Asia for two years and
trying. With with poor results. To learn the Thai alphabet, which
which makes a lot of sense. Okay, not so much on the American off
that though. Before we jump into that, I should mention the fact we
are sitting outside listener of the save our souls, our
neighborhood craft beer place manned by the fantastic Q who just
got married recently. Congratulations Q and we are recording here
with only do the show live her. We can introduce ourselves get we
probably should do that. I'm She lady And I am either terror. You
are listening to this one time and we are Shiboh dammit. I did it
backwards again. You know you've had a couple of beers now back to
the original conversation. We were having My hatred of the American
off that thanks in large part to my attempted study. Poor as it is
of the Thai ask that you know the task but has like 74 characters
in their teen vowels. And do you have the mall down pat
74.
00:02:08
Consonance and thirteen vows note or have her half of them. I
don't have of his Horter with him down. You do a really good job of
speaking an and attempting to read like your. You've got the
speaking done pretty well. You've got the sounds and things like
that. And I know you, you work on trying to read as we go through
and see things senior printed on signs and stuff like that. So I've
been super impressed. I am. I know nothing fix Emilia across the
street from us. There is a sign that says, uh, the name of our
road. And the name of the road we live on is Sharon a home. Yes,
which is in American that spelled chair Row One Nakhon C H A R O
and a big space in a knock-on far guys shares of I. Nick next
bought next, but all right Hamdan. Okay by 30 not alive. So General
Nicholson is build C H A R O eat in space in A K H O N. So that is
what? Set one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten
eleven letters per se, Gerenek home. And my my mouth jumbles at
every time I go to say it to a taxi driver, Right? Right. So our
our twelve letters, What are the number is a spelled out a knock-on
in Thai is spelt with one two, three, four, five, six, seven, half
the number of letters required, but they have more letters than we
do 74 consonance and thirteen valet. But I wanna talk about the
Thai-language. Okay. I want to talk about how much I hate the
American Alphabet. Okay, keep going. So now I should start by
saying, I don't have any problem with vowels.
00:03:53
The vowels make sense. A e- I o u, We need those and sometimes
why don't forget that. We will get the winds will We'll get to the
why? Because I want to go through all the letters. That's all I got
a problem with a vowels vowels I okay with, but it's a continous
that cut me problem. That's that's a problem because they had the
vows can say they can be different sounds depending on what's
before and after that part of the problem I have with this
particular Alphabet, And those are out of English-language, but
it's Guinness the specific as the continent's We just have too many
of them. <laughter>. We don't have that many compared to the
ties. We still have too many. Let's go through them, shall we
worship will begin. You set the stage for the English teacher. So
you tell me where we're beginning on his. Well, let's begin at be.
We're going to go down alphabetically because if we start anywhere
else, I'll forget midway through. So I have no problem with over a
obviously starting with bright. Here's why I hate be. B and P R the
exact same sound. Grabbed the FBI, grab, grab rabbit, grab, grab
it, grab it. Your your mouth, makes the exact same motion to make
up for he Sound or a B A sound. It's the same shape. Warne is
forcing a little more air Alpin the other, but at me and a P is
completely trends. Mango refined. What sort of looking for you
could use either one you what you said, I had a problem with this
until we came to Saudi Arabia's actor. I this is me learning and
growing as we go down. I don't pray. So I'm okay with a fee. As
long as you kill the P, You gotta pick one or of Alexei you've got
a big why? It's the same thing. Doesn't really matter. So where I
hate to be. Okay. Seeing see. Okay. So seized dumb for a lot of
reason is an SLA or is it a KION it all Guess what we have asked as
in case.
00:06:00
We do not need a see, ignore less. I all than we might need a
seat, or if it is immediately followed by an H so we can make the
CIA Sound, put Wait. I'll get to that in a minute. That would be
only possible reason rookie when the CIA, the sea around as he can
make C in an age. Other than that, get rid of it. Do you hate the
DEA's? Well, d or 10? We usually use AT T D, Same, Brigham sound.
Make us make the FBI with your mouth in the Medea with your mouth t
all the differences, you kind of release your tongue First, a new
blow air across it. It's the same exact sound. The same exact
mouthed admitted the and AT T your aspirated D to make a de It's
dumb. Pick one. Any word with a d could be easily than of it. He as
well. ADT. F. Yeah. 'cause we skipped E because I got a problem in
the bowels, right? Thank you. I have to count all the rubber
forever. This is why we're going down alphabetically camp. I don't
have a problem with I like F F was the first letter in the American
English, but as an PHR, the same. Well, combination problem is that
the single ladder ordered to one which I already hate. Okay, Okay.
As the first letter dental problem with I'm going to the app Now.
We have one G O G, first off, it's a done name, but the name that
the sounded G makes when it's making a hard sound, is a guy or is
that a cup? It's the exact same shape again with your mouth. K N G
makes the exact same sample Carrillo or guerrilla. You and I can
hear that. Nobody else can hear that unless their native English
speakers. G G and K are the same thing. Pick one. I don't care
which it is. I mean, go British on you hate each C.
00:07:56
H is another letter that I also hate because an H doesn't
actually have a sound and nature's just simply acceleration of air
from your lungs. And you're gonna go to British. Okay. Yeah. They
call it a Heydrich but they don't pronounced the Goddamn. But they
don't I love There was, Hey, accidental Brossa said, there's no The
comes out of their mouth. You could get rid of the age completely
and just use it. Any letter to letters? LBO. Appeals be more
British if you use that. Yes. Hate H K, J, J. I like the J except
Now give her that. See our about the C H, but because a C H, N a
job and a CIA, There is no difference. It's the same sound were
making who can understand this from the CIA in a Juicero it's such
a slight difference. We don't need it. So I like the Jay. Let's
keep that one, But it's lose the C H for now the is completely and
totally got you've already said you hate the K or I hate the Jeep,
pick one. I don't really care. You need that sound. You need the or
the car. I don't care which waders to pick one l. L Underhill. All
you need, You need to make a hole through. You've got to that. Your
legs are part of the bill. An M. I kinda like the m as well. Uh,
we've got three Renault Wow done. We're gonna be in our over
demenour yet 'em. Good sound man like at noon like that too. But
war I know I know we now have four sounds M's. L M M and obviously,
Oh, because I rail rows in there. That's a nice run factor. I
called that the royal flush of the alphabet.
00:09:45
Okay, So we know you, Hey, P I either hate The Pierre hate the
DEA, don't care. Which one would this be? Clear beast gives me,
Yeah. And it was where thing where the P in the be in your mind
drop, he. Got it, Laura, a lower case P drawer, and now draw lower
case be poised on the exact same thing, but it is going up half, So
I suggest we can find a two letters suggest. We combine those two
letters to our line straight down and a bold in the middle after
the right side, B, B, or repeat Same thing doesn't really matter.
Oh, my. Q stupid rule letter, they You have to have with another
letter. Yeah, Q by itself, Mexico sandwich irises. It was a post.
She was stupid. Our. I like our. When leader own, We need ours
sound and lots of weird Because in Southeast Asia oftentimes ours
and the Elles R Us one another and together and they should not be
because they're not the same. I'm okay with Els and ours. Ours are
as good will keep the are s We'll get back to the same thing would
have an s or A C, Right? So the season stupid probably like the S
better. So yes. Will keep ESI t Wait, T R J D. T. Yes. Another
detainee in a few things we can pick one of those V V stupid V an F
same exact thing. Oh yeah, But you make Bank of America of Sound
through the same thing. One is a little bit more on the lip in the
other one dump lose the V W gotta have a w, But I will say, this is
the dumbest made of a ladder. As I have no actual
arriving.
00:11:26
Double you a terrible, terrible, but we need the war Sound of
what needs to be there. I don't know what you call it would you
shouldn't called a double you just because they've of the the sound
war is barely in there. Okay. X excellently stupid letter. Why we
need an X? Naming anything that actually was an Exxon, like
xylophone. Yeah. What are the exit sound like this Agassi? Yes.
Yeah. The Nets dumb. We don't need the exa there. No catch a
terrible. So why? Because you didn't count why in your letters
earlier I like white except I probably don't like Why Because of
the Gobble juice out on over. So how to account that? No doubt a
six Right now. Get rid of it. Uruguay wise dump because y- y makes
a one percent of that with the w should make Would you to call that
letter the wuss? Zeev. Oh, I'm sorry, J, C, as you say, S C Little
sick, got letters out of the entire American Alpha and the vowels.
And then one and a lot of red ones actually have to win and a fight
like d versus leaper to be put them in a cage in my and let them
choose. Let the winner come out. How did they do? How do they do
that? The stronger wine have no idea are no idea. I'm not I'm not a
dogfighting or Todd writing. I need to draw this fight. You like we
should. Someone should be out there and tell us the winner of this,
but we could simplify English, which is eight jacked language
trying to explain this stuff to some one is night marriage. We
could simplify things by getting rid of these dumb letter view like
eleven letters. I like eleven Let us plus the vows wrote that is
where the ballots with him while you don't. Those are my first here
letters those eleven And then I think there's like five other ones
that I would add by as they went into a.
00:13:11
Fight rank. You could simplify this whole frigate than their
own SAARC This whole rigging thing. Same thing <laughter>.
non-English speakers did not hear non American English-speakers did
not hear a difference between frigate and brigand. Can I think
we're done here? We didn't answer the question would never wish
should not a question. And I know Why blame of that, Honey. I blame
our listeners. Okay, because they didn't send us questions. If you
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00:15:17
See ya.